One Life - Live It

Small minded bitch
From a small minded town
Peddles her poison
Then watches you drown
Drown in her gossip
The chit
And the chat
Blackens your name
In silent combat
Combat your chances
Of speaking the truth
Labelled by folk
As being uncouth
Uncouth and sullied

No Time For You

Worked it out yet?
Unravelled the clue?
Clue’s in the poison
From the small minded bitch
The witch with the curtains
That
Frequently twitch
Don’t listen to gossip
Free up your mind
And it will reveal
We are one of a kind
Kind that will ride
On the cusp of a wave
The real YOU is out there
Just waiting
Be brave
Brave is for folk
That need to depart
Folk that are more
Than the sum of their parts

Take a leap of faith

Break out from the mold

Life is here to be lived

And must not be controlled

Q - Sometimes in life it is easier to stay in a situation
but you need to ask yourself WHY
A - Fear of the unknown is a powerful and often
scary enough reason to make folk stay

There are no dress rehearsals in life my friend

ONE LIFE - LIVE IT

Live it

Breathe it

Taste it

Touch it

Feel it,

ONE LIFE - LIVE IT

Empathy

I pass him every morning.
Come rain or shine.
There he is.
Cheerful.
Always cheerful.
Doffing his horrid little hat.
In that unique grandiose manor of his.
Once he even winked at me.
I was shamed.
Felt the panic rising.
Growing in momentum.
Until I thought that I could possibly self combust.
Stupid really.
As if that was going to happen.
As if …
Sometimes I try an alternative route.
But for some inexplicable reason he is there as well.
Waiting.

For me?

I can’t look him in the eye.
Because of the fear.
He knows about the fear.
It pleases him.
That I fear.

He remembers the 1980’s

Another life.
Another person.
Not me.
Not me now.
I shop in Waitrose.
I buy my clothes down the Lanes in Brighton.
I eat out frequently in the best restaurants.
I take 5 or 6 holidays a year.
I have a nice house.
I have a nice car.

How could that be me?

How low can a person sink before they disappear completely?

Thieves, rapists, paedophiles and murderers become your closest friends.
You connect with the person and not with the act.
The act is immaterial to you anyway.
Meaningless.
Anything is possible.
And frequently is.
The mentally ill make you laugh with their craziness.
The rapists are always guarded and in constant denial.
The thief is a thief is a thief.
One paedophile was such a dear friend to me even though he had a penchant for young boys under the age of ten.
The murderer had instant kudos.
King of the fucking castle.
To spend a day in his company had guaranteed benefits within the hierarchy of your peers.
I relished it.
I worked it.
Used it to my advantage.
Had an impenetrable air about myself that made the others think twice.
Unpredictable.
Nasty.
Cruel and sadistic.
Thursdays were always the best day of the week.
This was when we all got our dole money.
No more dog ends rolled up in tampax wrappers.
No more begging for food from the psycho chef.
No more nefarious acts … for a few days anyway!
What to spend my £8.50 on this week?
Once you bought the booze and the tobacco there was not much left.
You had to survive.
Like ghosts we floated through life with not even a backwards glance from the rest of society.
No one cared.
We knew that no one cared.
It united us.
Bonded us against what we saw as the uniformed conformity of the masses.
The walking dead.
At least we were alive …
We not only tasted life we actually savoured every single morsel or scrap that we could find or acquire.

That was then and this is now.
And now.

Now what?

See this is the problem.

Empathy.

I am struggling with that damn word.
I can barely even write it down let alone say it out aloud.
It sticks in my throat like a malignant tumour.
Threatening and taunting me with manic glee.
Corrupting my mind.
Corroding my senses.

EMPATHY
EMPATHY
EMPATHY

I cannot do it.
It is not within me anymore.
Does that make me a bad person?
Does it?
I cannot even relate to myself as I once was let alone anyone else!
I figure that if I managed to get out.
Then why didn’t they?
Why are they still there?
Everywhere I look.
Everywhere I go.
Still waiting.
Without a fucking care in the world.
So happy and optimistic about what exactly…
What?
The page will only turn if you are interested in the next chapter.
Otherwise you just stay the same.
Am I being harsh?
Please tell me.
Help me heal the pain.

I want to breathe …

And tomorrow I will see him again.
Like I do everyday.
And I will scuttle by.
Pretending that I don’t know who he is.
And he will smirk.
And doff his hat.
And I will be shamed again.

But Still You Stay ...

I watch your resentment
I watch your hate
Our empty existence
Is hard to negate
You say I’m a bully
You say I’m a cunt
No prizes here
Darling
This knife’s never blunt

But still you stay …

I destroyed your life
From the moment we met
Before me you
Stand
Now a man of regret
Once in my arms
Your soul was submersed
Now alone in our history
You’re driving
The
Hearse

But still you stay …

Kept you away from your kith and kin
Indulged your repression with cardinal sin
Parallel existence out there somewhere
Conformity’s cute
When it’s with
People that care

Dare
You

Fucked up your head
Fucked up your brain
Made you succumb
Over and over again

But still you stay …

No rules for me
I’m tough and I’m driven
The darkness of life
To me is a given
But you
On your pedestal high in the sky
Will quiver
Will quake
Will never defy
I am blamed for your weakness
Your inability to act
This futile foible
Will forever protract

But still you stay …

So I bade you farewell
And alter this course
Our race is now over
I want a divorce

Goodbye …